Damask Tumblr Themes

officialunitedstates:

me:  goes to lowes

lowes man:  how can I help you son

me:  first of all I am not your son.  second of all im only here because I love the thick stench of wood fibers and industrial chemicals

charlesxavierofficial:

eriklehnsherrofficial:

HEY CHARLES LOOK I CAN HANG A SPOON ON MY NOSE!!!

You can literally control metal, Erik.

cowboycliche:

One of my favorite twitter exchanges

cowboycliche:

One of my favorite twitter exchanges

angryplum:

shsl-pornstar:

man i wish homophobic people were actually AFRAID of gay people like could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples hearts with your homo

"If I do not have one trazillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will KISS THIS WOMAN on the MOUTH in front of your children.”

sensxal-bliss:

Me every time I’m hungry

confessionsofayoungsexworker:

This guy sent me a dick pic so I google searched and sent back a bigger dick pic. This was the response.

confessionsofayoungsexworker:

This guy sent me a dick pic so I google searched and sent back a bigger dick pic. This was the response.